Our baby’s official name is William, but we call him Bo because have several Williams in our house already!
Today’s chat will be a little bit different- I want to share my story with Bo.
Here’s the short version of my story with rainbow babies…
I have a genetic condition when I carry baby boys. It’s an X-chromosome issue that means if they have my “bad” X, they will have severe, life-threatening issues.
In the process of getting pregnant the first two times, at 16-17 weeks we had the testing done and found out that both boys had the condition both times. (There is like a .004% chance for this to happen, so it was devastating.)
Both were considered “failed pregnancies” according to doctors, so I had 2 terminations due to the severity of the issues. It was heartbreaking to want something so badly, and know it wasn’t possible.
Honestly, I don’t know where the strength came from to carry another one, but I got pregnant again, and we had our daughter, Coco.
Then, this past year, I got pregnant again… and I found out I was going to have a boy.
I started reliving those feelings I’d had before, and as you can imagine, it was very difficult to relax.
At the same time, I had this inexplicable feeling everything would be ok.
I got the additional testing done on Bo, and I can’t explain the relief I felt when we found out Bo was in the clear! It almost didn’t feel real.
Bill and I hate it when we hear others comment about not having any time after kids- we didn’t even think we could HAVE kids, so we are so incredibly blessed to have two happy, healthy souls added to our home. Yes, sometimes it’s hard and we’re juggling everything, but we’re incredibly thankful for all of it.
A few crazy, key things that played into having Bo:
1. Reiki.
Look it up. For me, it’s energy healing. Even if it doesn’t work, I sure believe in the placebo effect! During a session, I explain areas I want to improve or things I want to challenge, and my Reiki healer works her magic. She is someone who clears energy channels, and I always notice a shift in how I feel after I meet with her. (Meetings happen virtually, too! We can meet over Facetime.) My reiki healer is named Jocelyn, and she agreed to come onto my podcast! I can’t wait to share her with you. She has helped me feel so much peace.
2. Consciousness.
Since Bo’s birth, I’ve had a lot of time to re-evaluate being conscious with my decisions and paying attention to what I’m feeling. With Coco, I was doing this too… but I was also in fight-or-flight a lot. There were a lot of firsts and fears with having our first child, so with our second time, I’m a lot more relaxed. Now, when I feel something, I want to pause and ask myself WHY I’m feeling that way.
After I gave birth to Bo, there were people who told me I’ll be very in touch with the feminine side of things and creativity after giving birth, and wow… I truly feel like my intuition is MUCH stronger!
3. “Big Little Feelings” Toddler Courses.
Do yourself a favor and find them on Instagram! (My toddler, Coco, was potty trained in 3 days with their potty training course!)
Their “Winning the Toddler Stage” course has made me a better mom, partner, and even entrepreneur. We learned how to validate feelings, repeat back how someone is feeling to confirm that you understand, etc. Bill and I came to this conclusion that we feel so much better about our communication with Coco, and don’t go into fight-or-flight which would happen when I got overwhelmed. I never want my daughter to experience me not being able to regulate my emotions.
Bill and I have used the communication skills we learned in this course to improve our own relationship. We’ve raised the bar for how we interact with Coco and each other. It’s also helped us to be better supports for others when they come to us with issues, or a lot of emotions.
These are some of the biggest changes and things I’m the proudest of that we’ve done! (Besides, of course, becoming parents to our second child.)
It’s caused me to be even more grateful for my parents and everything they have done for me. I could never truly understand what they did for me until I had kids of my own. Holy smokes… every parent is a rock star.
Key Takeaways From This Episode:
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Don’t forget….. If you loved this episode, screenshot it and share it to your IG stories and tag me @theashleyshaw. I would love to connect with you!
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