Why I Moved 5,733 KM From My Partner




Many people question my decision-making and sanity when I tell them I live in British Columbia and my husband lives in New Brunswick which if you don’t know Canadian geography, there aren’t many provinces that are further apart.

Before anyone asks…everything is fine…we are happy and I’m not having a mid-life crisis.

“Oh, that must be tough” or “you poor thing” and “is everything okay?” would categorize 95% of the comments I received. The other 5% assured me it was the new way of coupledom and was avant-garde.

I assume there are many reasons some couples wouldn’t dream of ever being apart and I used to be like this too. When my husband made the switch to shift-work 4 years ago, all of a sudden, I was on my own most weekends and evenings. I admit, I didn’t know how to live without him because I didn’t know who I was without him. We had been together for 6 years and I had lost my own interests, my own friends and my own goals.

Then something changed – I knew I had to adapt and as cheesy as it sounds, find out who I was again. I started working out consistently and gained a shit-ton of confidence and motivation. I got into roller derby, got the name “AshKicker” and I started playing in different cities most weekends – Halifax, Moncton, and even went to Maine and Rhode Island for games. I took up French tutoring lessons and started watching movies in French and having causal conversations at coffee shops. I started painting and selling my art in my spare time. Damn, it felt good to be a gangster.

I realized I had been so heavily reliant on my partner to bring me happiness and purpose, that I forgot who I was. I got curious and had a “who am I” moment while looking into a puddle (a la Zoolander) and damn, did it feel amazing.

I then decided to take the job offer and pack up and move to BC.

Through this transition, has it been difficult?


Has it been worth it?  

You bet your ass it has. 

I can’t imagine leaving this earth without taking chances, chasing my dreams & learning more about what I love to do in life. The more that I experience, the more I can give back to others and I am lucky to have a partner that supports me in exploring the world and everything it has to offer. The more curious I become, the more life has become worth living.

The moral of the story is get to know yourself and chase your dreams because you only go around once (unless you are a past lives sorta hippy).

So take that internship in Europe – Travel for a month on your own – Go back to school to pursue your dreams. Do things that make you happy – because everyone benefits from your happiness.



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