Something really strange happens to me.
I look in the mirror somedays and I don’t see the Queen that I have become.
I don’t see that I am intelligent; not just the “I kicked ass in school and got some good grades” intelligent but the kind of intelligence that doesn’t just sit back and accept what someone presents as truth. I like to stir shit up, challenge social norms and status quo shit; super hero worthy really. I have even been told not to draw attention to it but I won’t shut up. A model day nonconformist – now that is the kind of woman I dreamed to be as a little girl.
I don’t see the rebel I have become. I am not afraid to get in “trouble” and do what I believe is right; my values act as my compass and now always come first. I will push the envelope in both directions; I used to smoke, drink too much and didn’t give one f&*k about how that was impacting me. I figured out how to turn that around, started exercising, doing yoga, meditating, eating better and seeking my purpose in life. I have quit jobs over principle and leaders lacking my values; good jobs and ones that at the end of the day, didn’t feel right. Feeling good about what I do is way more important than money and a false sense of success. Success is doing what you love. This is truly the way to never work a day in your life.
I don’t see that my body is beautiful. I am a force to be reckoned with and I have learnt thousands of ways to hate my body – counting calories, weighting it, measuring it and making it feel worthless. I now train to feel strong and when I don’t, I notice it in my mind and thoughts; I start to feel weak and I question my worth. So I train to feel unstoppable – I roller derby, I box, I kettlebell, I Bulgarian bag and I have a trainer to keep me going back and she is badass. I feel unstoppable when I exercise and confidence is beautiful.
I don’t see that I help people and make a difference. I am empathetic almost to a fault. I can talk to any person and feel their story is worth listening to because everyone has a story. I am willing to help anyone that wants to help themselves. I would rather spend time empowering people and lifting them up, then tearing them down to feel better in hopes that that will motivate them. I would spend countless hours on anyone that was willing. I am here to make a difference and not just watch the world pass me by me. We are here to connect and make this world a better place.
I don’t see that I am a role model. I went from being an insecure teenager to a woman that knows her worth (thanks Alicia Keys). We all struggle with choosing our path but the more we become ourselves, the more we fulfill our purpose. We all have a beautiful purpose that is uniquely ours. I was meant to write, to tell the truth, to be vulnerable and to connect. No one can take that away from me and the more I become that, the more unstoppable I am.
Something tells me that sometimes we forget and we need to be reminded. It is easy to get drawn away from who we are and how far we have come. There are lots of distractions out there that tell us we need to be a certain way, look a certain way and live life a certain way. But what if you knew you were a QUEEN? Like not just sometimes but ALL of the time. How would your life change?
Queen Bee, Beyonce, is sometimes there to remind us but there is an inner goddess in there that never forgets. Don’t let that goddess be silenced.