Erica Hepperle is your Self Intimacy & Feminine Embodiment Leadership Coach…paving a path for you to do business a whole new way! An invitation to own ALL of you in your role as a leader! Holding space for your healing.
She coaches the Feminine Leader & Business Owner to unlock her next level of personal & professional mastery through discovering deeper self-intimacy. This elevation allows her to amplify the impact in her business in a whole new way & feel more confident in her voice as a leader.
I asked Erica how she found herself where she is now, and was surprised to hear the similarities in our backgrounds when it comes to the world of fitness! She was in bodybuilding for 3-ish years, which is very heavy on masculine energy. (It’s all about systems and structures, and she found there was little room or space for her feminine expression.) She went on to explain that feminine and masculine energy are in all of us; Masculine energy is about logics, strategies, structures, and systems. Feminine energy is about the energetics of abundance, intuition, creativity, expression, and how we flow through life.
After Erica found herself in the hospital due to a toxic cycle of gaining and losing weight, she had a wake-up call. Her identity was so connected to her appearance and physical body that she didn’t know who she was without it.
Dieting dominated her world and growing up in Los Angeles, CA, where there was a heavy focus on appearance, and physical health played a huge role in her identity as well. She has always been competitive, so she started lifting in 8th grade and played basketball through high school- and when she went to college, started partying a lot. She lost herself and found that the only way to find herself again was to return to what she knew growing up.
Unlearning unhealthy narratives:
She first had to understand how she fell into this, and came into this belief system. She started exploring her family dynamics and childhood, and diving into inner child work.
The first step: Creating awareness. Ask yourself, “What am I doing that I’m not feeling aligned with anymore? What is not serving the highest level of myself or my highest good? Where did I adopt this?” (Erica was overweight as a child, and was made fun of in school for it. She was trying to overcompensate for a lack of self-worth.)
“How is what I’m doing related to a lack of emotional intimacy? Do I have a connection to my emotions? If not, how can I develop intimacy with them?”
Intimacy is a close proximity to self, and with that, we’re able to start coming closer to those negative emotions. When you’re overcompensating in business and it’s your whole life, everything is rigid and structured. You have to ask what you’re not feeling in other aspects of your life.
Feel the fear and shame you received as a child. Feel the guilt. Then go into “shadow work,” (a whole topic in itself!), which is looking at the pieces of yourself you’ve denied, suppressed, or been shamed for. We tend to hide them in order to receive love and be accepted, or fit in and have our needs met. We reject pieces of ourselves. Erica realized she was rejecting her sexuality, her physical body, and even her voice- she was a loud expressive child and was always told to be quiet, and got in trouble for being too loud so her voice started to become mute.
She started to recognize that she’d built an unhealthy foundation for herself. Her physical body’s looks and performance was her identity.
I talked about our 2 year old, Coco, and how we’re learning about feelings and expressing emotions with her. We’re reading books on big feelings, and my conversation with Erica reminded me very much of how as kids we’re often told “You’re fine!” when we’re upset. Kids are essentially taught to push away emotions, and not be upset by things. Now, we’re learning that emotions are okay. We want to be intimate and connected with them.
“Emotions are energy in motion.” Without giving motion to the energy, they get stuck!
We add negative narratives around emotions like anger, but rage is actually a powerful emotion when you let it come out of your body in a sacred and safe space. There are no bad emotions, it’s what we do with them that can be bad. Aggression can be bad, but we can also go into our room and feel our anger for a while. Punching a pillow or getting it out can create a space to let it work through us, and not get stuck in our bodies.
We can carry emotional weight, we can carry our parents’ emotions and trauma… but when it comes to running a business, you’ll have to work 10x harder to bring in those clients, get them to say yes to your offer, and get them to see you and your vision because you don’t have space to hold all the abundance and manifestations that you want. Your body can only hold so much.
Erica said she likes to picture a bottle. Rocks are our childhood emotions at the bottom. Pebbles thrown in there are experiences that aren’t as heavy, but still hold some density. Sprinkle in some sand, and now your bottle’s full!
It’s full of heaviness, and now you want abundance! Money! Clients! You want to be seen and get on podcasts! You want to speak! But there’s no room for those things to come in.
When you emote emotions and create intimacy with them, it starts to empty the bottle. It feels a little lighter. Now there’s more space for things like that $10k, $20k per month.
The more we do the work, the more space we have to hold the next level of “success”, whatever that is to each of us. It requires calibrating the nervous system to know what it’s like to hold it, and believe we’re capable of it in our nervous system BEFORE it lands. Our bodies can already be prepared for it before it comes.
Two suggestions Erica has for bringing up recessed pieces of yourself:
With shadow work, there’s a technique called “Voice Dialogue.” It’s listening to the thoughts (or voices) running through your mind, to get an understanding of what’s coming up often so you can acknowledge and have a conversation with it. (It might be “I’m not enough,” “I don’t look the part,” etc.) It’s simple! Take notes down of when those thoughts or limitations arise, and explore where you’re blocked. Those are the shadows.
Hypnotherapy can help you use timeline regression to move through limitations and go into the future to picture what you’ll feel, see and hear when you reach your goal.
It’s all about calling in abundance through the feminine energy. How can you get deeper into the body to believe you can have this “land” in your bones? That’s when the “hustle and grind” is removed. Instead, you’ll create magnetism in your business by shifting the old mindset we’re given (Hours = money), and learn that body/soul/mind alignment creates magnetism. This magnetism is what lets people go from $20k years to 7 figure years.
This doesn’t make sense to the logical mind, because all that happened was shifting to a new energy… but it’s called Quantum Leaping. In science, Quantum Physics says everything is energy. When we’re in the vibration of love or abundance, we attract just that! It’s done through the cells.
This is definitely a practice that takes commitment and dedication every day. You’ll fall out of alignment, and it’s just a matter of coming back.
It’s looking at things from an energetic, magical perspective. It’s believing that miracles can happen all of the time, instead of getting stuck in the logic of business. It’s asking, “How can we bring that inner child back? The imagination?”
Suggestions for anyone who wants to lean into this:
Erica has courses and programs that go into the Feminine and how to step into Feminine-embodied leadership. Reach out to her with questions here:
Free resources on her website: fearlessfemmeproject.com
Podcast: Find Your Fearless
Tiktok is her jam: @elevationerica (it’s still in progress!)
WHERE WE CAN CONNECT:
Don’t forget….. If you loved this episode, screenshot it and share it to your IG stories and tag me @theashleyshaw. I would love to connect with you!
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