In order to feel like she fit in and “make it easier,” Finka chose to go by Josie from age six all the way until adulthood. At school and in her career, she went by Josie but at home with her family and Croatian friends, she was Finka: klutzy, quirky and a little more free. It wasn’t until she got certified as a coach in 2012-2013 that she reconsidered her decision. Becoming a coach is very transformative and in the last class, she pulled out her driver’s license and decided to take back her name. It was a way to bring her whole, true self to ALL parts of her work and life.
I’ve had many similar moments in which I’ve had to decide to show up holistically and authentically in my business, especially since it’s primarily online. We get to choose how we want things to appear, and many moments have caused me to rethink the way I do things. I’d always seen my parents work hard, so I associated success with working hard. You run until you can’t anymore, then you take a 2 week vacation before getting back at it. Well, after 2 failed pregnancies within 18 months, my work became an escape and I threw myself into it even more. By the time we had Coco, I’d thrown myself so deeply into being an entrepreneur that there was a new battle between the desire to finally be a mom, and who I was in my business.
Even though I became an entrepreneur to escape the 9-5, that old construct still lingers inside and tells me I’m not successful unless I’m working those hours. How do I challenge that identity attachment, and appreciate the beauty and freedom of entrepreneurship? How do we challenge that old mindset?
Finka expressed that we get to create the reality we want. We can challenge what we’re holding up in our mind as part of who we are, or how we need to work. It’s like a good workout routine: as entrepreneurs, part of our job is working HARD. Other parts require rest and recovery. The “laptop lifestyle” portrayed by entrepreneurs online doesn’t come without the grit.
Finka’s theme for 2022 is “Be more, do less.” She’s focusing on presence, the energy she brings, and how she’s doing what she’s doing… instead of just being on the hamster wheel of adding more. The “fear based” model of selling, marketing, and getting clients has us on a master wheel of frantic have-to’s, instead of being thoughtful and considering what the most important thing is. How do we commit and stick to that without getting distracted?
My theme for 2022 is “Intuition,” and leaning into that feeling of “knowing.” I shared my meditation story from a couple of years ago, where after 2 failed pregnancies I saw what I assumed was my daughter. My husband Bill and I were holding hands walking along the beach, and I saw her blonde hair blowing in the wind. I connected with that sense of trust and knowing, and my life shifted in that moment to a focus on abundance. When that shift happened in my mind, my entire life changed and 6 weeks later I was pregnant with my daughter. How much of our lives is based on what we tell ourselves?
Finka said there are two spectrums of doubting, and knowing. She looks at the “in-between,” which she calls “priming.” We’re always priming our way back to knowing. For example, my continuous commitment to meditation and how I want to show up practicing my faith and intuition is “priming.” We do things like workouts, meditations, or time with our kids that help us come back to who we are in our true, authentic selves. It’s so we can orchestrate a moment where that true knowing happens, even if they’re fleeting and momentary for many of us. Our work is to get back to priming, until we get back to knowing.
Finka made a profound point: we need BOTH experiences of doubt and knowing. Without experiencing doubt, we don’t know what “knowing” is like. The in-between is when life happens. During the “priming” part. SO many of us try to run away from it, because it’s very uncomfortable. But that’s what makes it exhilarating! To not wish the discomfort away, but understand that it’s part of what makes the journey that much better.
I remember when Bill and I had our first 7-figure year. There wasn’t a feeling of “arrival,” but instead the problems just became different. No roses and rainbows, but instead the problems you asked for, in a way. But the priming and challenges you faced previously will definitely help you solve what’s coming at you in the future!
Finka pointed out that there is no level in our business where we can finally “sleep better at night,” or be happier or more content. It might feel that way for a moment, but you just upleveled to another set of problems. So the key is to find that happiness or peace of mind NOW, with the challenges you’re facing NOW. To show up mindful, heart-centric, thoughtful, and with a bias toward action. Don’t swim in doubt, and analysis paralysis! DO something to move the needle forward, so you can start creating new problems. So many of her clients get stuck, saying they don’t know what to name their workshop or business, etc. She tells them to just name it and move on to the next problem, because they can always change a name later. If they continue worrying about what to call something, they’ll never solve the NEXT issue. Issues that need our gifts, creative solutions and outcomes.
She said balancing being a great mom, having time for ourselves and our wellbeing, and entrepreneurship is going to be continual. Finka believes entrepreneurs make great parents because they’re continually getting outside of their comfort zones and following their dreams.. When her 14 year old daughter says she’s scared to do something, Finka tells her nope- she has to do scary things for work every day. They’re constantly learning how to manage emotions, identify when fear’s getting in the way, and learn healthy self-practices… These are all things I get to teach Coco, so she becomes the full potential of who she’s here to be.
What’s the impact you want to make? The thought leadership you want to share? I loved what Finka said about parenting: She said “I KNOW I’m messing my kid up in some way. I’m already apologizing for when she’s 25 and struggling with the limiting beliefs I planted in her! But that’s her work. Her work is working through those limiting beliefs that I couldn’t, because I can’t teach it all. I’m not all. It's my journey, and she gets to do it herself. And if she decides to have kids, she gets to do it for them.”
Finka’s daughter, Jelena Jerkovic, wrote a book called How to Eat Fudge: 15 Tools to Help You Feel Your Feelings for kids, and for parents to help their kids.
“FUDGE” stands for Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt, Guilt and Expectations. She shared five of her own personal stories of when she overcame each of these emotions and feelings, and she offers three tools for how to process them when they come up. It’s available on here on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/How-Eat-FUDGE-Tools-Feelings-ebook/dp/B096MN32S6
To win a free copy of her book, screenshot this podcast and tag us both in your Instagram stories!
A winner will be chosen next Thursday, February 24th and you’ll get a free copy in the mail!
Find Finka and learn more about her work here:
Podcast: Sell from Love
Book: Sell from Love on Amazon
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Don’t forget….. If you loved this episode, screenshot it and share it to your IG stories and tag me @theashleyshaw. I would love to connect with you!
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